
Do you ever stop to analyze your fears? Lucy and I have had many conversations over the past couple of weeks about fears...mostly mine. She seems to be afraid of nothing. Well, wait a minute, she has a fear of needles...Big Sissy! Anyway, during these discussions I realized that I use to be, pretty much, afraid of breathing! Every time a subject came up, I would say, "oh, I use to be afraid..." or "I'm afraid of...". Shoot! Was there anything in my life that I was not afraid of??? These conversations sparked not only much hysterical laughter and endless daunting from Lucy, but her family as well, as she couldn't keep her Lucy Duck bill shut! LOL... Just kidding Lucy!
Now granted, most of these fears were based on valid, traumatic incidents that left me scarred as a child and which I carried with me, unaware of how silly they were as an adult, until I actually spoke of them. Ok, just to be fair... some were and still are valid fears. Actually, not so much fears now, just knowledge to be more aware and cautious in life. Ok, and yes, some of them are still straight up fears. However, if you have read my previous blog, I can now sleep with my bedroom door closed and no longer run and jump in my bed when I turn off the light! Progress not perfection! Praise God!

So back to the fish. I don't like to eat fish, I don't like to see fish, and I certainly will never, ever touch a fish! Ok, that was a little dramatic. I will eat fish sticks and tuna fish and I have even owned a fish or two in my life, but touch a fish? No flippin' way!!!! It all started when I was a wee little child...

No, really it happened when I was 13, visiting relatives in Hawaii. We went to Hanauma Bay to spend the afternoon at the beach and feed the fish. Hanauma Bay is a crater that has partially sunk into the ocean. It is a fish sanctuary and absolutely no fishing is allowed there. Thousands and thousands of people visit this place every year to snorkel and feed the bazillions of fish living there. Some of these fish grow to 4-6 feet in length!
Anyway...my younger cousin told me to put on the mask and watch the fish eat the rice that she put in the water. Trusting soul that I am, complied. In a flash, a handful of rice was forcefully thrown down into the water, right in front of my face and before I could even blink, I was being swarmed by a gazillion (maybe more) ginormous face eating fish!!! I shot up out of the water, screaming bloody murder, as this school of fish ripped into my flesh! Ok, maybe they weren't ripping into my flesh but they were biting me everywhere! And yes, fish do bite!

Yes, I have been scarred for life. I do realize, in my rational, sensible mind, that fish normally do not attack people and that they are usually the ones afraid of people. However, in my not-so-rational mind, they are KILLERS! So, I am on a quest to move from the irrational to the rational and be at one with the fish. How that plays out is yet to be seen.

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